When you’re in a sexual relationship, sometimes pleasing your man is all you think about (yep-that’s me). There are so many options, and ways, to give him the ultimate oral experience. This intimate act can be a way to show him appreciation, love, and sometimes, support. It’s often a way to connect and bring each other closer together. But it can be a difficult experience to feel comfortable with. You’re putting yourself, and him, in a vulnerable position. Here are three ways you can feel more comfortable and grow together in the art of satisfaction.
#1. Communicate & Consent
This isn’t for everyone. There are hundreds of women who will never want to put a guy’s stick in her mouth. Plain and simple. And that’s ok. But it’s important to communicate that — both men and women. Talk about what you like, what he likes, what you don’t like. Put boundaries in place that you both agree on. And if he’s not interested in agreeing – feel free to call a HARD STOP.
#2. Technique
Find the technique that works for you – and be willing to switch it up. One of my favorites is starting with strokes — rubbing my hand up and down while we both get comfortable. Then I add slow licks and sucks. We’ve had many conversations about what he likes and what I’m comfortable with. For example, I love booty-slaps. He likes it when I gag. I’m adventurous. He lets me bring new ideas.=
Switch up those techniques as you get more comfortable. Strengthen the sucks, slowly lick, invite him deeper. Change up your position. Kneel next to his hips, ask him to spread his legs so you can lay between them. Try on your knees in front of him. One of our favorites is hanging my head over the edge of the bed and giving him control. (But remember — communicate and consent before you try!)
Depending on your preference, or experience, you may need to introduce some lubrication. There are several options – some flavored – to enhance the experience. Some men prefer sloppy and messy. Some are happy with just saliva. Try a few options and see what he likes.
One thing no one ever explained to me — depending on technique it is normal to get a runny nose. I’ve been so embarrassed thinking back on every time I sniffled during a blow job. But for some women, it’s normal.
The same goes for the heavy gagging. I’ve thrown up twice during blowjobs because I was taking it too deep. I’ve cut back on what I eat/drink if I know ahead of time we’ll be playing. You can also try breathing through your nose, or clenching your fist around your thumb. Some women see success with this. Or, when you feel it getting close to too deep, slow it down a touch and recoup.
#3. Spice It Up
Remember, it’s always good to ask for feedback when you’re trying new things. Ask him what he liked and didn’t like. My man is not the vocal affectionate type, so asking for feedback was hard in the beginning. I was terrified that I’d do something that would make him NOT want my sucks and strokes. But the longer we’ve been together, the better I’ve gotten at reading his body language. Ask him to be honest and upfront. The goal is to grow closer together.
